About

I used to say that I am all men and no man.  That was my way of avoiding the answer to the question: “Who am I?” I struggle with this question because it usually comes in the form of what do you do, as if what you do defines who you are.  When someone asks the question: “What do you do?,” inevitably the response is, “I am a…”  And for me there never seemed to be a suitable label to fill in the blank, nothing that I would want to infuse with my identity anyway.

The simple answer is that I am a man.  And what that implies is as a man I can “change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, con a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly.”  I borrowed those words from Robert A. Heinlein.  I borrowed them because they express how I have approached my life.  No labels, only actions.  But the truth is people feel compelled to label you.  They need to put you in a box so that they know how to respond to you.  Are you friend or foe?  Rich or poor? Democrat or Republican? Are you like me or one of them?   Are you a joke or someone to be taken seriously?

I have worn a number of labels in my adult past – infantry officer, financial consultant, manufacturing engineer, training manager, training consultant, coach, and freelance trainer.  But the labels that I respond to and hold most dearly are those that have been bestowed upon me by friends and colleagues outside of my professional working life – poet/writer, philosopher, dad, husband, and friend.

Poet
I write poetry because it is the truest expression of how I interact with and respond to the world.  I have been in love with poetry since I was 16, which is when I first discovered Byron, Shelley, Keats, Wordsworth, Pope, e.e. cummings and T.S. Eliot.  Poetry is my connection to the Soul of the World.

Writer
I write because I feel compelled to write, to muse, to share, to explore the everyday concepts of life.  Words are magic.  Words have power and that power fuels my ambition.  I believe as Sigmund Freud believed that words are the basic instrument of human consciousness.  As he put it:  “by words one of us can give another the greatest happiness or bring about utter despair; by words the teacher imparts his knowledge to the student; by words the orator sweeps his audience with him and determines its judgments and decisions.”  Yes words have power.

Philosopher
I am a philosopher in so much as I love wisdom.  I seek her embrace everyday as the ancients once did by pursuing wisdom through wondering, questioning, discussing, and reflecting upon others, society, nature, ideas, and everything else.

Dad
I love to hear my children call out to me: “Dad what does this mean?”  “Dad can I…”  “Dad you’re weird.”  I love being a dad and interacting with my kids and watching them grow up.  I am proud to be their dad and not just the person who provided the sperm for their conception.  Growing up, I had a father, not a dad.

Husband
I am not the perfect husband, but I have the perfect wife.  I am selfish, inconsiderate, and lazy when it comes to domestic chores.  She is generous, kind, and forgiving.  We have been married for 15 years. It has not been all bliss, but what marriage is?  I confess, I have loved every day we have been together, even the parts that people don’t like to talk about in public.  Our love truly runs deep and has helped us enjoy the bliss and weather the storms.

Friend
I wish I could be friends with everybody in the world.  I love having real interactions with people and connecting with them on the level where we both feel comfortable enough with each other to take off our masks and share with each other who we really are beyond the norms and social airs and graces. I take friendship seriously and I always feel honored and humble when someone calls me friend.